Fred Foundation

http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/fredfoundation Last Mothering Sunday I ran past restaurants crammed with families and it got me thinking how training for a Marathon is easier than looking after a severely autistic child.

I was reminded that not only was I running to help children like my son reach their potential by helping them get the right support and education. BUT I was running to give other MOTHERS a reason to carry on by giving them HOPE.

The majority of mums of complex autistic children are single mums* who often cannot leave the house because of their children, let alone go into a restaurant, and will never experience an outing on Mother’s Day or any of the stuff you take for granted. (*It is estimated by NAS that 80% of partnerships will break down).

In case you didn’t realise, and excuse me if you do, looking after a severely, complex child with autism is no quirky ‘Dog in the Night Time’ stuff.

Motherhood of a severely, complex autistic child is not only an achievement of sheer physical and mental strength, it is an achievement of the heart. Without heart a mum wouldn’t do it and in many cases worn down over time, without help, no longer can. A daily struggle that has been officially compared to the same level of stress that combat soldiers experience on the battlefield (please google it’s there).

I feel to brush this under the carpet and to not talk about this openly does a tremendous disservice to all the mums struggling for support. Some of whom, confined to their homes with their children for years, wracked with desperation and lack of sleep (often autistic children don’t sleep at night) have jumped off bridges and taken their poor children with them.

I have struggled and fought the authorities for the right support to look after my son for 16 years. A few years ago it had got to the stage where I wasn’t actually able to leave the house to do anything because I couldn’t keep him or his poor siblings safe out of it . My son was in a very bad place and his siblings and I were confined to the house for at least a year and a half. I spent all of my time trying to keep them alive.

Struggling to keep all of them alive might sound overly dramatic, but, to give you one small example If our strong 6ft 2 boy with the mind of a two year old, decided to run into the middle of the road and touch the white lines, he would do so and I couldn’t stop him. If he decided he wanted to go the other way on the motorway he would climb through into the front and take the wheel whilst his siblings sat screaming on the back seat. Yes, that happened, and, even though the right people knew that was happening, I didn’t actually get any help until an accident happened in our house and it catapulted us onto their radar. Luckily no-one died and as a result my son is at the most amazing residential school now.

When you have seen a child like mine, so unhappy and damaged by lack of support, it would make you run forever to help them or even run away – many parents can’t stand it any more and if the right help and support doesn’t get to them in time often do. The majority of the complex children at my son’s school have no parents any longer and are in Care.

The Fred Foundation was founded to help families fight on to get the right support and education their children sorely need and so gives them HOPE .

A LIFE WITHOUT HOPE CAN DRAIN THE STRONGEST SOUL.

My page:http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/fredfoundation

If you want to know more about what the charity does to support families to fight on please go to www.thefredfoundation.org The section Faces of Autism and A Day in the Life diary will tell you how it is if you want to know more.

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