Fred Foundation

…and the town,  and the country,  and the village..been listening to friends who have just had their SEN tribunal adjourned for a few months…what a stress, never mind the money – no legal aid support and no costs back if they win!  It’s madness.  Oh SEN means special educational needs – they are trying to get a school funded that meets their children’s ’special educational needs’ and the council do not want to fund it.

This week is his birthday, always quite depressing as it is difficult to know what to buy for a little boy who can’t tell you what he wants.  I went to a book shop today looking for talking books for toddlers.

Now he is older  it seems even sadder buying talking books for a 2 year old when your child is a long way past being that age…but I have to look at it like this.  When he was two year’s old he was so locked off from us he  had no interest in any books of any type at all so we have achieved a lot!  I had to explain to the lady in the bookstore how old he actually was when she was looking for books for me and her eyes filled with tears.  She was such a nice lady and was desperate to help.  I was cheered up by the beautiful gluten-free/nut free/dairy free birthday cake our lovely local baker has baked for him and will take it into his school later for everyone to share!

A friend told me the other day about a  friend of hers who is a hairdresser.  He  has a beautiful little girl who has autism.  Doing a new customer’s hair one day the usual salon chat lead to their respective families etc.   The hairdresser talked to his client about his little daughter, and all  the ongoing problems they were having getting the right educational support for her from the local authority.  How she  was in a special school that could not meet her needs and generally about the ‘battle’ t hat all special needs parents seem to face. 

They were both leaving the salon at the same time at the end of the day and his client turned to him and said “which way are you walking?” The hairdresser told him he was walking his way, at which the customer replied, ” just checking – i just wanted to make sure i go in the opposite direction so i dont have to listen to you going on about your child again…

Very high anxiety at the moment, must think what to do..and what has helped him in the past.  He wants things repeated back to him exactly as i have said them the first time i reply to him - desperately trying to control his environment by getting me to repeat the same thing in the same order from dawn til dusk.  If i miss something out then he gets even more upset.

I musn’t feed into it and ultimately make his anxiety worse.  Will tackle it tonight when back from school, must speak to school too so we are all doing the same thing.

I forgot to say my boy has a severe speech communication disorder – hence my Dancing Queen  joy this morning!

Driving along to school in the car this morning, he was panicking as the car radio cd was jumping tracks – i pulled over in a layby to clean the cd explaining i had to clean it   “What’s happening, what’s happening” he said and i tried to explain.  As he cried I asked him if he wanted the radio on or Abba – not really expecting a reply and through his tears he actually said “I want Dancing Queen!”  Can’t wait to tell my husband tonight.  Good boy i shouted as we roared off – late for school but singing Dancing Queen

I had to apologise for him the other week as he dropped something by mistake into a handbag belonging to a lady who was sitting next to us by the swimming pool.  Of course he straightaway dived into her handbag to retrieve it.  The woman (a mother)  leapt up in a rage.  She then half apologised when I quietly produced a National Autistic Society card which explains what autism is and asks people to show some compassion because social situations are not easily understood…She handed the card back a bit shamefaced.    She now uses the other changing room every week and keeps her children away from us all.

As well as giving access to lots of information about The Fred Foundation and what we do for autistic children, we will share the experiences of one family’s life with an autistic child – snippets only.

Some snippets long and some short.

We hope you will be interested in some of the highs, lows and general everyday happenings in the life of one child with autism.  There are many such children out there – all of them very different…

Welcome to our world.